Domestic Abuse and the Failure of the American Mental Health System

 

I write this blog from the perspective of someone who has experienced long term domestic abuse. I have been chronically ill for decades so one would think this should be the expert lens from which I write. But it isn’t because now I see the role the toxic environment had on my health. It has been almost a year out of the shared home and my health has improved significantly. How is it possible that trauma can cause so many health problems and the American brain and physical health systems miss it?

I was sick for decades, saw many doctors, yet not one person inquired about my home life. I was so sick and getting sicker. I could barely walk to my front door and doctors could not figure out what was making me so ill. I am not here to point fingers and suggest that the physicians I saw were poor in practice. Rather, I am pointing out that the medical field does not train their doctors to look for environmental issues as a cause. I experienced verbal, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse. Therefore, I did not have a bruise on my arm or a black eye. It is often thought that only physical abuse can cause medical problems. Yet, in my experience, the impact of 24 years of this abuse caused major physical consequences. It should be noted that I do have data that suggests health issues and I was under the care of an expert physician when I left the abusive environment. However, my health did not change significantly until I departed. For example, I was receiving medical treatments for lymphatic congestion several hours away from home for 2.5 years up until the time I left the toxic environment. It has been a year out, and I have not felt like I needed the treatment one time since I removed myself from the home. When a body undergoes stress and is constantly in the fight, flight, or freeze mode, it has an impact on the body. My response was always to freeze and thus, invariably, I was unknowingly creating a 24 hour tightening of my body which led to a decrease in lymphatic flow.  Before I left, cold weather caused major all over pain and I was not able to walk more than a mile or two on the best warm day. Yet,  I was able to walk a 10K on New Year’s Eve only 8 months out of the home. I was taking 4-5 different types of pills for stomach support and was able to go completely off of them within 6 months of my departure. Please keep in mind all of these gains occurred while I experienced 2 months of physical withdrawal of the trauma bond which included shivers, diarrhea for 4 weeks(and loose stools for an additional 3-4 weeks) significant hair loss, panic attacks, and flashbacks. Therefore, besides the physical withdrawal of the trauma bond, the only other change in my life was the removal of the abuser. This is in light of the fact that he was calling me every day, if not twice a day, with verbally abusive messages for two months that generated triggers to the point of nausea. How was it possible that my body was going through so much yet my overall health was improving significantly when all I did was leave an abusive person? Because chronic abuse, I am not implying only physical abuse, has an impact on our health and medical professionals need to consider this option when dealing with their patients. The American health care system has failed our doctors and have not provided them with the tools to evaluate the overall health of the patient from a holistic lens. Only then can doctors provide the kind of care that is necessary. 

The brain health system also struggles. I remember feeling like I was being mildly electrocuted when I refused to honor the need to return to the abuser. I was triggered to return, refused, and fell to one knee in pain. The pain was so intense that I started to vomit. Yet in our brain health system, patients are instructed to write scripts, or affirmation statements, after they leave an abusive marriage. When one is triggered to the point of vomiting, an affirmation is not going to get the job done. I know many patients that have had success with EFT tapping. I agree that there are benefits to this system but one must evolve into that phase before a medical provider will offer it. Yet, one could easily conclude that anyone with complex trauma should start with the tapping. Nevertheless, I feel tapping is not enough to address the complexity of trauma and completely remove it from the patient. The American brain health system does not prepare their doctors to address the intensity of complex trauma.

In order to address trauma, one needs to heal the physical(brain and body) and the quantum(soul) aspects of the person. All beings on this planet consist of souls, or quantum energy, and a physical body. Therefore, in order to heal, both must be addressed. For example, if a car is in an accident, a person would not just fix the outside, or body, of the car without also addressing what cannot be seen or the inside of the car and expect it to run smoothly. Thus, when dealing with trauma, one must be aware of the physical component and heal the mind and body while also addressing the impact the trauma has had on the soul, or in other words, at the quantum, energetic level.  It is my opinion that the failure of the American health care system therefore exists at the physical, brain, and quantum level because it does not see the patient from a holistic lens. Only when these are addressed will true, long term healing occur. Ask yourself, why does healing from complex trauma take so long to heal and many people never get there? It is because our health care system fails to address all the trauma and thus, on some level, the trauma exists. It is worth noting that responsibility also lies within. Although I was unaware at the time, I gave my power away, lacked boundaries, and was co-dependent. I take full responsibility for these choices and know that it is on me to resolve them. Therefore, personal responsibility and a holistic health care system can heal decades of complex trauma in a reasonable amount of time. Take the next step in your journey and ensure that your healing process includes all the necessary facets.