The Need For Validation Makes You Susceptible To Narcissists

 

A common theme among narcissistic victims is their need for external validation. This is seen in the victim’s attempt to earn praise, love, and affection outside of themselves. In this instance, they are not their own source and thus need to fill themselves by acquiring this from others. Enter a narcissist. Narcissists are experts at looking for people that are vulnerable, powerless, lack boundaries, and need external validation. During the grooming stage, a narcissist learns what type of validation you need and your response to it.  They may experiment by seeing how far they can go once they have a good sense of your external needs. Then, they make sure they fill it. All of it. By doing so, they make sure they have a constant stream of narcissistic supply and make the victim dependent on them for validation and support. A co-dependent relationship develops along with a cycle of abuse and a trauma bond. A narcissist is so keen on how they groom you that is often covert and difficult to detect. They may seem like the best listener you have ever encountered and that they really get you. However, you do not notice when the narcissist then twists what you shared with them against you and reinforces your need for them. The cycle is never ending, and if you are not aware, can last years or decades. So, how do you end this cycle of abuse? You become your own source of love, validation, fun, safety, and peace and no longer need the narcissist.

Be your own source of validation and live from the inside out rather than the outside in. Many people in our American culture, including myself, struggle with this concept. If you are unsure, ask yourself, do you go back and check how many likes you received on your Facebook, Instagram, or other social media posts? Do you constantly use filters to make sure you are seen and acknowledged by people on the outside as beautiful? Do you want to be constantly told “good job” at work or is it your greatest desire to win that award? Do you only know how to have fun if you are with someone else? In all of these instances, your value is determined by something outside yourself. If you seek validation outside yourself, you leave yourself open to be victimized by expert manipulators like narcissists. When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, YOU know your own worth and value. Thus, do not give up your power. Happiness, peace, safety, and fun all come from within. A partner, children, and friends add to your already full cup when you live from the inside out.  Ask yourself, are you susceptible? If so, what are YOU going to do about it? Take back your power and live the life you were meant to live!