Have You Ever Wondered How You Attracted a Narcissist Into Your Life?

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Many of us that are picking up the pieces of our lives after narcissistic abuse wonder how they found themselves in this type of situation. It is easy to look at the narcissist. However, today, I challenge you to look within. What message do you send out into the world? Meaning, do you send out a vibe that you want attention, for example? Are you looking for someone to fill you up?  Before you say no, pause with me a moment. Be still and ask yourself an important question. Are you looking outside yourself for praise and acceptance? Do you want someone to tell you “nice outfit today” or “you are really good at your job” or how about “you are beautiful”? If so, then you are sending out a signal, a vibe. There are people, narcissists included, that “hunt” for others that send out this vibe. Then, they use this need against you. If you have been in a narcissistic relationship, think back for a moment. When you met the narcissist did they tick off every box and say exactly what you wanted to hear? Did you feel like they filled you and were the answer you were looking for? I suspect yes. This method of “hunting” is used to ensnare and then maintain narcissistic supply because the perpetrator figures out your need and then uses them against you. 


How does one eliminate the vibe that makes them a target? It is simple. You must be your own source of attention and fill your cup 100%. A partner adds to you. They do NOT fill you up. Therefore, when the other party tries to gaslight or use other forms of manipulation and abuse, a healthy person that sustains themselves can walk away easily. 


What if you are unsure if you live from the inside out? Ask yourself one question. When the narcissist tried to leave or became absent in your life, did you beg for them to come back like your life depended on it? If the answer is yes, then you have become dependent on another person for love, happiness, safety, fun, and security. It is also possible that you have developed a trauma bond as well. To eliminate this bond, I suggest professional support. If not, the cycle of hunter and hunted will continue until you learn to remove your trauma and live from the inside out.



At the end of decades of trauma, I sought professional help for chronic PTSD, powerlessness, codependency, and the lack of boundaries. I worked with many wonderful professionals but soon realized that the American mental health system was not able to adequately treat my trauma and I became frustrated as a consumer. I realized that long term injury impacts not only the mental, emotional, and physical body but also impacts the soul. I started to do energy work on myself daily and opened a channel with a council of spirit allies, an ascended master, and an evolving group of ancestors. As time went on, I worked on myself daily and utilized guidance from my spirit allies and I became stronger. I had battled chronic illness for over 20 years and went from 25 prescription drugs and supplements with out of state treatments for my lymphatic system to zero treatments and 10 drugs and supplements within one year of departure from a toxic environment and daily energy work. I now fill myself, connect to my own source of internal power, and live my truth.

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