Pause for a moment and ask yourself a few questions. Are you still thinking about the narcissist? Do you wish they still wanted you? Are you concerned about your posts on social media or appearance in case you run into them? Honestly, how many times a day are you thinking about them? If you are in the group of folks that are still thinking about the narcissist daily examine the type of thoughts you are experiencing. For example, are they a part of a new thought pattern of self power and intrinsically driven happiness? Or, do they fall into the category of the desire to be wanted and adored by the narcissist, meaning old and unhealthy thought patterns? If you are stuck in the old thought patterns do not be too hard on yourself. Please take a moment and give yourself love and compassion for what you have endured. Then, get serious with yourself and choose to be mindful of the old thought patterns and change them. For example, every time you catch yourself thinking “It would feel so good if he saw me in this outfit right now” or “I miss being adored” replace it with a new thought pattern. Say to yourself, “Love and attention comes from me” or “I am my own source of love and attention”. If that does not work, and depending on your level of trauma recovery, remind yourself of all the moments at the bottom of the roller coaster in a narcissistic relationship. It is important to keep in mind that the desire to be wanted and adored puts your power and happiness outside of yourself. Reclaim it! Love yourself! Fill your own cup! Then, if others want or desire you, let it make your cup overflow. Remember, to be wanted or adored is a bonus and not a need. Claim. Your. Power.
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