Trauma Bonds
A trauma bond is a chemical addiction to a cycle of abuse that the abused person is often unaware of while in the cycle. To put it simply, the body secrets chemicals when life is going well and during times of stress and challenge. During a cycle of abuse, the victim becomes addicted to chemicals like serotonin when the abusive cycle ends and the relationship is happy again. Unlike other addictions where the person is aware of the possibility of dependency, the cycle may continue and become stronger via reinforcement over time. For example, a person that partacakes in heroin knows that an addiction is possible. It is common knowledge for most people since there are drug awareness programs in school. A trauma bond, however, is not covered in most curriculums. As an educator with a Master’s Degree, I had never heard of it. But I know what it feels like. Similar to a heroin addict, the withdrawal symtoms include shivers, hair loss, diarrhea, panic attacks, flashbacks, and hallucinations. It is important during the withdrawal stage, like a drug addict, that the person goes no contact with the abuser and is in a supportive environment. This leads me to the topic of domestic leave.
Domestic Abuse Leave
For many people, if they really want to leave, they need a safe space to process, grieve, and go through withdrawal of the trauma bond. Therefore, domestic abuse leave is critical. I was fortunate in that Covid started and the country was on lockdown. Otherwise, I would have missed work for at least a month while I waded through the symptoms listed above which included 24 hour diarrhea for 4 weeks. I was also fortunate to have been placed in housing by a non profit for domestic abuse where I had a counselor available to me almost 24 hours a day and had a “grocery lady” bring me food because I was too sick to drive through the grocery pick up line. Corporations should consider domestic abuse leave like they would maternity leave. Brain and body health are important. With that said, the work is not done when the trauma bond subsides. Rather, it has just begun.
Treating the Whole Person
Human beings are body and mind but they are also energy. Think of your high school science course when you learned about atoms and how they vibrate. So too, do human beings. We are energetic bodys. Eastern culture has been aware of this for some time and has a better understanding of the chakra systems, or energy centers in the body. It is important that when an abused person works through the healing process that they heal the WHOLE person and not just the mind and body. What I mean is, the healing process must include an energetic component as well to truly and thoroughly heal the entire being. It would be like going to the carwash and not cleaning your windows. The car is clean but you still cannot see out of the windshield. If one were to work with mental health practitioners, who are not trained in the energy aspect of healing, they will often comment on how long it takes for a person with PTSD to heal. It is true that every human is a unique individual and their healing process is as special as they are. However, the amount of time to heal can be reduced if the whole patient is addressed. Let me be clear, I am not suggesting a magic potion. A person still needs to work through the trauma rather than try and go around it. Nevertheless, the journey can be more manageable and lasting if the whole being is addressed which should include an energetic release of the trauma.
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