Narcissists want you to make them whole, and you do for a while, until one day it stops. One may even notice this downward trend as it happens. The narcissist then moves on to another person or fills themselves with an addiction like gambling or drug use. The problem is that the narcissist does not realize that no one can fill them and they have to fill themselves. Since narcissists are not conscious humans, this cycle continues again and again. People that are in a long term narcissist relationship develop significant trauma bonds; especially if they are the scapegoat.
Now, let’s get to the part about why you were attracted to this being. Simply put, you were codependent and thus had a similar need in which you depended on someone to fill you rather than being your own source of love, attention, fun, safety, security, and joy. Therefore, the need is similar although carried out in a different manner. Codependents do not go about their needs in an abusive manner and are often the victims in a narcissist relationship. It is because of this need that they stay after being abused again and again. I can say this because I did it for 24 years. There is no judgment here.
Comments