Do You Ever Wonder About What Attracted You To The Narcissist In The First Place?

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Do you ever wonder about what attracted you to a narcissist in the first place? If so, this is a good place to start because you are starting to heal.  Let’s examine this a little closer.

Narcissists want you to make them whole, and you do for a while, until one day it stops. One may even notice this downward trend as it happens. The narcissist then moves on to another person or fills themselves with an addiction like gambling or drug use. The problem is that the narcissist does not realize that no one can fill them and they have to fill themselves. Since narcissists are not conscious humans, this cycle continues again and again. People that are in a long term narcissist relationship develop significant trauma bonds; especially if they are the scapegoat. 


Now, let’s get to the part about why you were attracted to this being. Simply put, you were codependent and thus had a similar need in which you depended on someone to fill you rather than being your own source of love, attention, fun, safety, security, and joy. Therefore, the need is similar although carried out in a different manner. Codependents do not go about their needs in an abusive manner and are often the victims in a narcissist relationship. It is because of this need that they stay after being abused again and again. I can say this because I did it for 24 years. There is no judgment here. 



At the end of decades of trauma, I sought professional help for chronic PTSD, powerlessness, codependency, and the lack of boundaries. I worked with many wonderful professionals but soon realized that the American mental health system was not able to adequately treat my trauma and I became frustrated as a consumer. I realized that long term injury impacts not only the mental, emotional, and physical body but also impacts the soul. I started to do energy work on myself daily and opened a channel with a council of spirit allies, an ascended master, and an evolving group of ancestors. As time went on, I worked on myself daily and utilized guidance from my spirit allies and I became stronger. I had battled chronic illness for over 20 years and went from 25 prescription drugs and supplements with out of state treatments for my lymphatic system to zero treatments and 10 drugs and supplements within one year of departure from a toxic environment and daily energy work. I now fill myself, connect to my own source of internal power, and live my truth.

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