6 part Series; How to Reclaim Your Life
The purpose of this series is to provide an opportunity to reflect on your life and ideas on how to reclaim it. Please search the blog for other parts of the series.
Part 1: Fill Yourself
What is the number one most important step in reclaiming your life? The ability to fill yourself. Many folks often respond that they are already filling themselves. But are you? Stop and think for a moment.
To fill yourself means that you are your own source of fun, joy, safety, security, and love. Someone that fills themselves does not feel lonely because they create their own fun and feel joy. A person that fills themselves does not feel fear-the average kind not the “I need to save my life” kind-because they fill themselves and know how to make sure they are safe and secure. If they cannot do it themselves, they find a way. Someone that fills themselves is not dependent on another, in other words codependent, and can move through day to day life feeling fulfilled.
You might be wondering what is the role of a partner in this life if they do not provide some of the items above. That is simple. A partner adds to a cup that is full to make it overflow. Meaning, a partner does not fill you. An individual can fully function on all levels in complete love and joy with or without a partner. If you fill yourself you live your truth and attract the right people. Therefore, you will not find yourself in a codependent and often abusive relationship. Let me be clear. Partners are great! But! They are not your source of completion. You are.
So, how do I learn to fill myself? Honor your needs and wants and by doing so you honor yourself. YOU fill yourself. I remember when I first started on this path; I had a total meltdown. I tried to list all the things I did for fun by myself. I could not list ONE SINGLE THING. I was so codependent, that I did not have a separate identity AT ALL. After I processed the meltdown, I got to work. I started by searching on Pinterest for lists of things to do by yourself. I created a list and did them one at a time when I was ready. By doing so, my confidence grew. For about 15 years before I left my previous environment, I lived solely between home and work. I was so isolated and dependent on my former partner. I did not even drive myself in or out of town. Therefore, for me to take these steps not only showed me how to become independent, it grew my confidence and creativity. I kept wanting more. Therefore, pay attention to YOUR needs and wants as that will take you in the right direction!
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