Be OK With Others Not Being Ok With You

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Codependency. Oh, that is an ugly word. For many of us in this community, it has led to trauma and abuse. Codependency is looking to someone else to fill you rather than filling yourself. By doing this, you put yourself at the mercy of others which then leads to trauma and abuse that can last decades. While there are many steps one needs to take to remove and address these issues, the focus of today is to be OK with others not being OK with you. Otherwise you can become dependent.


For some people, the request above can be REALLY uncomfortable. The scenario can play out in a variety of ways. For example, one might not want to make the other person upset even though they are being verbally and emotionally abusive and thus cave in to demands. In another instance, one might not want to make the other person mad even though they are stealing from and are sexually abusive to the person and then you give in. In both of these instances, abuse is occurring and it is not being vocalized but the victim cannot live with the other person not being OK with them. In these instances, a person is afraid of offending someone that is harming them. Yes! Harming them! There are other issues at play in the examples above, like the need for boundaries, for example.  Nevertheless, in this post, I want to divert the fear of offending someone and replace it with the need to live one’s truth. This concept should land above the need to please. Sometimes when a person speaks their truth, another person nearby-and often emotionally close-may not be OK with. So what! SO. WHAT. You have to be OK with yourself and live your own truth otherwise you become too dependent on others and the need for approval. Let’s be honest here, if someone does not support you while you stand in your truth then you do not want them in your life. Yes, this applies to close relatives. Now, I am not suggesting a complete withdrawal but rather healthy boundaries. The need to fill yourself and live your truth is your number 1 priority. Period. THEN, you will attract healthy people in your life that honor and support your truth. So be OK with others not being OK with you so you remain independent and supported by healthy people. 



At the end of decades of trauma, I sought professional help for chronic PTSD, powerlessness, codependency, and the lack of boundaries. I worked with many wonderful professionals but soon realized that the American mental health system was not able to adequately treat my trauma and I became frustrated as a consumer. I realized that long term injury impacts not only the mental, emotional, and physical body but also impacts the soul. I started to do energy work on myself daily and opened a channel with a council of spirit allies, an ascended master, and an evolving group of ancestors. As time went on, I worked on myself daily and utilized guidance from my spirit allies and I became stronger. I had battled chronic illness for over 20 years and went from 25 prescription drugs and supplements with out of state treatments for my lymphatic system to zero treatments and 10 drugs and supplements within one year of departure from a toxic environment and daily energy work. I now fill myself, connect to my own source of internal power, and live my truth.

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