The Need For Attention And How It Can Be Used Against You

 


The topic of attention is uncomfortable for some people. In most instances, folks will not admit that they like attention or that they seek it. In some instances, they might not be aware of the level of attention they crave and thus the energetic signature that is being emitted. In our society, most people crave attention on some level. If that was not the case, advertising and social media would not work so well.  If you have read any of the other posts, you will understand by now the importance of filling yourself. This post does not focus on that aspect but the consequences if you do not.


There are many people, including narcissists, that will use your need for attention against you. During the grooming process, narcissists and other abusive folks, are very good listeners and observers. This can be misperceived by the target as a godsend because “Someone is finally listening to me!”. However, that perception is one dimensional. The narcissist is listening so that they can figure out what you like and fear so that it can be applied in later circumstances. It is like they are collecting data on you to be used as a manipulation tool later. Since the narcissist lacks integrity and empathy, the person is not really listening. They are filing. Filing information to be used against you at a later date and those that have a high need for attention are especially vulnerable. In all honesty, it can be hard to tell sometimes because a narcissist may also be on the psychopath spectrum and thus are VERY convincing that their intentions are genuine. If you are unsure, ask yourself a few questions.

  1. Does the other person constantly compliment you and put you on a pedestal? AND you like it? If so, they will have you eating out of their hands in no time. 

  2. Does the person take what you shared with them in confidence, a weakness perhaps, and then use it against you to get what they want? In this instance, the victim admits of a weakness and thus defers to the abuser when it is brought up because it is, well, their weakness. And again, the abuser wins. 

  3. Does the other person constantly, if not overly, praise you in the presence of others? Watch yourself here. Do you stand a little taller? Well then, it is working. Against you.


Stop for a moment and reflect on the questions above. If you fill yourself, then none of the questions above would apply to you because you do not need it. You are full and complete within yourself so a compliment is a thoughtful set of words. The compliment does not make your day, enable you to stand taller, or lead to you puffing out your chest. A person that fills themselves is a narcissist repellent. BE the repellent!



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